I’m one of those Canadians who really, really likes the census. I completed it (alas, the short version) within minutes of receiving my card in the mail.
Apparently, I’m not the only one: This census reportedly had a 98% response rate, higher than the last two censuses. In fact, so many people were excited that the mandatory long-form census, along with evidence-based decision making is back, that they crashed the StatCan website within hours of its release.
Which is why I was so taken aback when a census enumerator rang my buzzer a few weeks later. I wasn’t just flustered that somehow they may have lost my response, but I was actively embarrassed that anyone might think of me as anything less than enthusiastic about completing it.
Turns out they were mistakenly looking for someone living in (nonexistent) apartment 7A. I live in apartment 7. I felt much better once we cleared that up.
Google searches for “moving to Canada” rose by 1000% after the US primary “Super Tuesday” results:
In the four hours around the close of polls across Super Tuesday states, searches for “how can I move to Canada” on Google spiked by 350%. By midnight, the query had risen to more than 1000% its normal search volume. It was especially high in Massachusetts, where Trump dominated the field with just under 50 per cent of the vote.
It’s trendy for Americans to talk about moving to Canada if their candidate loses an election. It’s far less common for them to actually do it. According to Statistics Canada, about 9,000 Americans move to Canada per year, compared with about 33,000 Canadians who move to the US annually. And the US has 10 times as many people as we do, so the discrepancy is even bigger when you look at per capita numbers. Politics aside, most people move for more practical reasons, like jobs.
… But if this time you really, really mean it, I’ll be considering marriage applications as of September.
- Any gender (this is Canada after all)
- Any socioeconomic status (we have socialized healthcare and a considerable social safety net; I don’t need to marry you for your money)
- Preferably a nice person (’cause we’re nice in Canada, eh?)
- Must love snow
- Must hate guns
- Must be able to quote John Oliver at length. And eventually Rick Mercer, though I’ll allow you some time to brush up first.
- Bonus points for sending me chocolate with your application
- Bonus points for witticisms about Drumpf’s hair