It wasn’t exactly “Don’t Tread on Me” or “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death.” But when John Tyner, a 31-year-old software programmer from Oceanside, Calif., refused a TSA “groin check,” he uttered words soon to adorn boxers and briefs of freedom lovers everywhere: “You touch my junk, and I’m going to have you arrested.”

Tyner refused what he considered “a huge invasion of privacy” while attempting to board a flight at San Diego International Airport. He “opted out” of the full-body scanner, which leaves nothing to the imagination, settling for the traditional metal scanner and a basic pat-down. But the groin check, in his view, went too far.

Tyner had turned on his cell phone’s video camera and placed it atop the luggage he sent through the X-ray machine. The conversation between him and a TSA supervisor was, er, revealing. The supervisor explained that if he refused, he would not be allowed to fly and would be escorted out. Tyner responded: “OK, I don’t understand how a sexual assault can be made a condition of my flying.”

“This is not considered a sexual assault,” the supervisor said.

“It would be if you were not the government,” replied Tyner.

“By buying your ticket you gave up a lot of rights,” countered the supervisor. Oh. We wonder if Benjamin Franklin, having said that those willing to sacrifice liberty for safety deserve neither, would submit to a groin check.

[ . . . ]

Then you have the airport peep show with TSA scanning the body image of passengers. Napolitano defends this practice, saying: “The officer assisting the passenger never sees the image, and the officer viewing the image never interacts with the passenger.” Purveyors and viewers of online porn can say something similar.

[ . . . ]

We know who’s trying to kill us. Yet to avoid charges of profiling we go through what Rep. John Mica, one of the authors of the original TSA bill, calls “a big Kabuki theater” that gives the appearance of airtight security while adding little.

We should adopt techniques, used with great success by the Israeli airline El Al, in which passengers of interest are observed, profiled and, most important, questioned before boarding planes, not submitting everybody to naked scanners and groping. “It’s not an Israeli model, it’s a TSA, screwed-up model,” says Mica.

As a fairly frequent traveler, I find the idea of having to submit to a huge invasion of privacy – not to mention a potential health risk – as a precondition of flying distasteful. I would find it distasteful even if I thought it was the least bit effective. But it’s not, which makes it all that much worse.

On the other hand, a train trip last week was remarkably hassle-free. Enter the train station, get your ticket punched, board the train. Not even so much as a metal detector. Foolish? Maybe. But far more civilized.

I’m not arguing that we should abolish airport security altogether. Clearly, there’s a need for some practical measures. But what the TSA is doing is crossing a line, and I’m not the only one to think so.

Eamonn Brennan, chief of the Irish Aviation Authority, warned of “a summer of uncertainty” in the air due to the continuing eruption of Iceland’s Eyjafjallajokul (ay-yah-FYAH-lah-yer-kuhl) volcano.

In Brussels, European Union transport ministers held another emergency aviation meeting and emerged vowing that reforming the continent’s patchwork air traffic control system into a one seamless airspace was a “top priority.” Germany and France also demanded binding rules to determine when airspaces should be closed and planes grounded because of volcanic ash.

Airlines and airports complained bitterly that EU uncertainty during last month’s volcanic crisis grounded too many flights for too long last month. In all, more than 100,000 flights were canceled, inconveniencing 10 million travelers.

As one of those “inconvenienced” 10 million travelers last month, I can say that being stuck overseas with no way home was at once memorable, and an experience I don’t wish to repeat anytime soon. Word of advice to those with travel plans for this summer: Check your insurance policy carefully. Include the fine print.

Meanwhile, I have to admire columnist Christopher Elliott of National Geographic Travel for having the courage to tell it like it is when it comes to one of my pet peeves: screaming babies on airplanes:

The problem is as old as air travel itself: Adults seated next to misbehaving kids while confined to a pressurized aluminum tube. But it seemed like until now, at least, we knew whose side the parents were on. Like the mom on Meador’s flight, they did everything they could to keep their offspring from driving the rest of the passengers quietly mad.

Today, you can’t be so sure.

[ . . . ]

“Today’s parents think that their little darlings have the right to scream, pound on the backs of chairs, hit passengers on the head and do whatever else amuses them,” says psychiatrist Carole Lieberman. “This comes from parents feeling entitled and being too distracted by their own fears, worries, computer work, movies, and so on. They think of the flight attendants as their own personal baby sitters.”

Airlines already blacklist passengers for all sorts of reasons, from bad behavior to breaking their ticket rules.

Perhaps they should add inept parents to the list.

Thank you, Mr Elliott! I have nothing against children, but listening to them screech and cry and scream for hours on end ranks up there with root canal on my list of least favourite things in the world. I once spent a 12-hour flight from Japan to the USA seated next to one baby who did nothing but cry and spit up on me, and in front of another baby who interspersed her crying with pulling my hair and kicking on my seat.

Flying is uncomfortable enough as it is without having to add putting up with other people’s kids to the equation. If you’re a parent, please, please spare ten seconds to think of the rest of the passengers on the flight before you decide to take your baby on an airplane. Thank you.

And it hasn’t gotten any better, either. Us Canadians are still among the most vacation-deprived people on earth, ranking dead last among 40 countries studied in terms of the amount of vacation time that the average worker is entitled to receive.

I think I need to move to Finland, France, Lithuania, or Brazil.

“I once put this question to Jacques Duchesneau (the former head of the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority): say there is a bag with Play-Doh in it and two pens stuck in the Play-Doh. That is `Bombs 101′ to a screener. I asked Duchesneau, `What would you do?’ And he said, `Evacuate the terminal.’ And I said, `Oh. My. God.’

“Take (Toronto’s) Pearson (airport). Do you know how many people are in the terminal at all times? Many thousands. Let’s say I’m (doing an evacuation) without panic – which will never happen. But let’s say this is the case. How long will it take? Nobody thought about it. I said, `Two days.’”

A screener at Ben Gurion has a pair of better options.

In light of all the controversy in the news this holiday season about full-body scanners, a near-total ban on carry-on luggage to the US, and security lineups lasting several hours (except for celebrities), this seems even more timely.

On my flight to Tel Aviv last winter, an American passenger, going through the second layer of security at the gate specifically for flights to Israel, started to take off her shoes. The Israeli security officer just laughed at her. Israel also doesn’t give a rat’s ass about liquids on-board; my Ahava product purchases and my bottles of Yarden wine were just fine out of Ben-Gurion, but I had to transfer them back into my checked luggage in Toronto for the one-hour flight back to Montreal. No, instead, I get asked questions like, what were you doing in Israel? Where did you learn to speak Hebrew? What was the name of your first-grade teacher? It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for them to ascertain that I am exactly who and what I say I am, and after that, lots of time to shop duty-free.

Or, to put it another way, it’s nicely hassle-free to travel to and from Israel… as long as your flight doesn’t go through the United States.

The trouble is, implementing Israeli-style airport security in the US would mean that security personnel would actually need to be highly specialised and trained. Rights groups would get up in arms about profiling (done openly by Israel, disavowed publicly by the US), and the unions would scream bloody murder about their staff being replaced by people who are actually competent.

And hey, it’s so much more fun to lock down entire terminals, right?

As much as I sympathize with people with nut and peanut allergies – and yes, you know who you are – I have to wonder, isn’t this a little bit like offering non-smoking areas on flights? I mean, everyone’s breathing the same recycled air everywhere on the plane, right?

I also have to wonder, does “nut-free” refer only to the food, or will slightly-crazy passengers and crew have to change seats, too?

“We are absolutely determined to do whatever we can to protect our customers from this appalling, unjustified decision from Unite,” BA Chief Executive Willie Walsh said in a statement. “We do not want to see a million Christmases ruined.”

The planned strike, from Dec. 22 to Jan. 2, follows a dispute with cabin crew over job losses and changes in work practices. BA plans to cut 1,700 jobs, freeze pay for current staff and offer lower wages for new employees.

The airline is appealing to the courts for an injunction to stop the strike, on the grounds that there were “voting irregularities” in the balloting. But if you’re one of the millions of people with a BA airline ticket for Christmas break, you’ll probably want to watch this one carefully.

One of these days, labour and management will figure out how to have it out without getting millions of bystanders trapped in the crossfire.

Update 9/17: A court injunction has been awarded to British Airways to block the strike.

Montreal ranked in second place:

Easygoing Montreal is increasingly popular with foreign travellers, who enjoy the joie de vivre of a place with bilingual ambience, good local beer and even skiing at nearby Mt Royal. Montreal’s irrepressible student population and atmospheric old quarter give the city a light-hearted, Bohemian air. There are Old World cafes, cool jazz clubs, packed discos and late bars to choose from, plus a popular comedy festival each July.

And perhaps more surprisingly – not to those of us who’ve been there, of course, but in the face of the public perception of those whose picture of Israel comes solely from media headlines – Tel Aviv made the list at #10:

Like elsewhere in the Mediterranean, Israel’s second largest city gets going late. The endless bars, pubs and cocktail venues start to fill up by midnight, from which point the nightclubs get revved up with dancing till dawn. Nowadays an international crowd joins Israelis for a mixed bag of funk, pop, house and techno at the city’s dozens of entertainment hotspots. Tel Aviv has a relaxed air, and prides itself on being gay-friendly and outgoing.

Belgrade, Serbia claimed the top spot. Rounding out the Top 10 were Buenos Aires, Dubai, Thessaloniki, La Paz, Cape Town, (surprisingly) Baku, and Auckland.

Some of these may be debatable, but Tel Aviv’s inclusion on the list is a nice sign, especially considering the bad press Israel often gets in the backpacker community.

Bob Wolfe and his wife were flying from Bangkok’s Suvarnabhumi Airport to Panama. At the counter, Wolfe was told that his four bags were each about 2 kg or 3 kg over the 32 kg limit, and that he’d have to pay a penalty.

Wolfe was sent to a Thai Airways office where he says a number of employees discussed how much he should be charged for the bags. They argued with each other. They made phone calls. They looked generally confused, he says. More than an hour later, a verdict was rendered: Wolfe owed 66,000 Thai baht, or approximately $2,200.

Of course, it does beg the question of why this couple needed over 128kg of stuff for a trip to Panama in the first place. But, seriously, ouch!

Oh yeah, and a war broke out in Gaza on the morning I arrived.

Being in Israel during the start of the Gaza war was interesting in a lot of ways. For one thing – and this should come as no surprise – the Israeli press and the international media have nothing much in common.

For another thing, the black-and-white, either-you’re-with-us-or-with-the-terrorists dichotomy that’s so common among the Jewish communities in the diaspora isn’t really the picture on the ground in Israel, where three Israelis in a room will have seventeen opinions.

Certainly, the opinions of the people I know and spent time with during that week ran the gamut, from left-wing to right-wing to in-between to “just shut the news off”. Times like those, I feel it’s usually better to listen than to speak. After all, I’m not the one who lives with the situation, fights in the wars to defend the country, or otherwise has to deal with the consequences of any action or inaction. It’s not that I don’t feel like I have a right to my opinion; it’s more that the situation is more complicated than our black-and-white outsider viewpoint, and much more human. So I did a lot of listening.

The blogosphere has certainly been active, of course. On the left, Lisa Goldman has some of the most important, sensible commentary that nobody wants to hear right now. Which is exactly why you should read it, agree or disagree. I know I’ll get flak for this, but I’m posting it anyway. Actually, that’s probably why I feel the need to post it.

For what is probably a more mainstream perspective, Imshin has been a must-read lately.

Meryl Yourish has had daily round-ups on her blog, for those looking for more frequent updates.

The latest PR tactic on Facebook? QassamCount, a “donate your status” app that updates automatically with the count and location of rockets launched into Israel.

Mostly, my thoughts are for the safety and security of the IDF soldiers on the ground, of the people living in Sderot and Ashkelon and Ashdod and all the other places within range of rocket fire, of civilians on all sides of the conflict, and of everyone who lives with the threats and instability.

Anyway, I’ve discovered that – thanks to Ipsos-Reid and the folks over at Expedia – there’s a name for what I’m feeling: Vacation Deprivation. Yep, it seems that this condition is suffered by 33% of Canadians, so I’m definitely not alone.

But perhaps more astoundingly, 29% of Canadians aren’t taking all their vacation time that they get from their jobs. Considering that for most North Americans, “all” vacation time amounts to a paltry 10 days a year, that is definitely tough to believe, but it’s true: nearly 41 million days of vacation time went untaken last year.

Rest assured, I won’t be one of them. Starting with this weekend, when I plan to go camping – hopefully not in the rain. But my itchy feet will soon be taking me further away. Stay tuned.

Trumpeting the service as unique in North America, Air Canada – which had a net profit of $429 million in 2007 – yesterday unveiled a new travel-assistance program, On My Way. For a one-way fee of $25 (flights below 1,000 miles) or $35 (above 1,000), payable when the flight is booked on aircanada.com, the airline will look after alternate flight arrangements and general logistics problems occasioned by flight, traffic or weather-related delays beyond its control.

[ . . . ]

Michael Janigan of the Public Interest Advocacy Centre in Ottawa wasn’t impressed. He suggested Out Of My Way as a more fitting name.

“It’s part and parcel of a continuing effort to try and make the service extended to you when you buy a ticket less and less. The expectation would be that if you paid for a flight, you’d be rebooked on the next available flight. I’m hesitant to figure what’s next with the airlines. Maybe washroom privileges (for a fee)? We’ll have to wait and see.”

No kidding. First they take away the food. Then they take away the baggage “privileges”. Then they outsource the lost luggage service to India. Now they won’t even rebook you on the next flight if your flight is delayed or canceled.

Air Canada continues to demonstrate that, just when you think it has come up with every possible way to screw its customers, there are always a few more to be found. The next time it claims bankruptcy and begs for a bailout from its financial woes, I hope the Canadian government has the good sense to finally let Air Canada sink, once and for all.

What do you think the friends and family members of the victims of 9/11 would say if we asked them whether they would have put up with the inconvenience of extra security regulations on 9/10?

Amazing how, now that one of the worst terror plots in history seems to have been foiled, all anyone can focus on is how they’re being inconvenienced. Instead of blaming the airlines, the security personnel, and the government officials, maybe people could try directing their anger and frustration at the terrorists for a change?

Update: Seems it was a false alarm. But nobody was taking any chances yesterday.

Three Israeli backpackers were evicted from Fiji after a Muslim immigration officer ruled that they had humiliated Palestinians during their military service in the territories.

The three – Amit Ronen, Eldar Avracohen, and Nimrod Lahav – left Israel in February for a tour in Australia.

In July they decided to spend a week in Fiji. On July 13 they arrived at Fiji airport where a surprise awaited them.

“We gave our passports to the officer, and when she saw we are Israelis she asked for ID cards. We told her we don’t understand why we need ID cards and she responded shouting: ‘You know very well how to ask Palestinians for IDs and humiliate them for three years.”

That’s what Avracohen wrote in a complaint letter he sent to Israel’s Ambassador to Australia Nati Tamir.

The three were held at Fiji airport for six hours and officials rebuked their pleas to be allowed to make a phone call.

Armed policemen took them to a cell at the airport where they spent the night before being sent back to Australia.

Catch that? A night in jail with no phone call, for having done absolutely nothing besides present a passport that happened to be from Israel.

There are a zillion Israeli backpackers in Australia right now. I ran into them in just about every hostel, on every bus, and in every tourist site imaginable. A fair number probably travel to Fiji on a regular basis. Fiji’s economy is largely tourism-based, and they depend on this business. I hope this story reaches the backpacker community far and wide, and that travellers of all stripes band together to refuse to go to Fiji until a suitable apology is issued. (Judging by the antisemitism too prevailant in the backpacker community, though, I wouldn’t hold my breath).

AIR passengers will be charged up to £40 extra for a return ticket within Europe to pay for the environmental impact of their journeys, under plans approved by the European Parliament yesterday.

MEPs voted in favour of the “immediate introduction” of a tax on jet fuel for flights within the 25 member states of the EU. The charge would double the cost of millions of budget airline flights.

Well, it was great while it lasted, anyway.

I don’t know what this will do for the environment, but being quite familiar with the budget of the average backpacker, I have a fair idea of what it will do to European tourism.

• New Yorkers complain about the cold even more than Montrealers do, or at least it seems that way.
• Fifth Avenue is pretty with all the lights.
• Stuck for a gift idea? No problem. There’s a street vendor at 73rd and Broadway selling Christmas sweaters for $2.
• Lots of tall buildings arranged perpendicularly in a grid create massive wind tunnels. Ugh.
• Most of the subway station platforms aren’t heated. The subway trains are, though.
• Winter, spring, summer or fall… it’s just as impossible to get a cab from downtown Manhattan to the airport at rush hour.

For your viewing pleasure, here’s a random snapshot of Rockefeller Center all decorated for the holidays:

The Windsor airport is really tiny. They never seem to have more than one flight there at a time; security and the gates are open only for about 20 minutes before each flight boards. However, it’s got a certain amount of charm. The staff are all suspiciously friendly, even the security personnel. There’s a food counter that makes real, edible food (which is more than I can say for Pearson airport in Toronto, Canada’s largest). There’s even high-speed wireless internet, albeit for a price. Since I was flying standby and had to spend several hours there, I was especially grateful for that last one.

Anyway, it’s good to be back. Regular blogging to resume, well, now. Those of you who missed me (all two of you) ought to be relieved.

In the meantime, here’s your new thread. Enjoy.

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. (AP) — Short on sleep? The Mall of America in Minnesota is selling naps for 70 cents a minute thanks to a Boca Raton company. The mall already has a 74-foot Ferris wheel, a shark tank and a dinosaur museum.

The nap store will be called Minne-NAP-olis. It’s aimed at weary travelers who need a nap after a long flight but aren’t staying long enough to book a hotel room or for spouses of shoppers traversing the mall’s more than four miles of storefronts.

My flight home from New York today was delayed by 3-1/2 hours. That’s for a flight that only takes an hour. The vague description of the cause was something to do with “equipment delays”. The airline kept us waiting in the terminal all that time without offering us so much as a free soda.

Then I got home and saw this:

Air Canada’s efforts to burnish its public image were dealt a blow Sunday when the carrier was forced to cancel some flights because its pilots reached the limit on their flying time for the month.

Oh. So that’s what they mean by “equipment delays”.

Air Canada’s advertisements feature all sorts of promises of fun stuff that’s “coming soon”, like personal entertainment sets on all seats. A word of advice to the management team at Air Canada: the main thing passengers want to be “coming soon” is their flight. You might want to spend a bit less money and effort focusing on useless nonsense, and a bit more on basics like, oh, say, customer service. Just a thought.

This time I was in New York for 4 days, so I set out to make them as enjoyable as possible. Between the Collective Soul concert Wednesday night, the shopping accomplished on Thursday, and my “free day” on Saturday filled with a visit to MOMA and an off-Broadway play, I have to say, mission accomplished.

The great thing about New York is that, whatever any other place has, you can always count on New York to have more of it. Muggy heat, crowds, tourists, lineups, honking taxicabs… it all gives the city that indescribable constant energy current that can’t quite be equaled anywhere else.

Sometimes it’s the little things that make New York what it is. Being stuck on a subway car for about 20 minutes during a “signal problem” is, I discovered, the makings of a great one-act play. There’s not much you can do about it, but some people react by swearing, pacing and constantly checking their watch, while others just sort of sit back and wait it out.

It’s baffling how people actually live in New York, what with the high prices and the constant people. But I can’t imagine ever getting bored there.

(Via Imshin).

Times Square at Night

Back soon!

The government survived by one vote, some Palestinian terrorists are firing mortars at Israelis, and the new Star Wars movie came out in theatres. No, I haven’t seen it yet. No, I’m not particularly fussed about it.

Have a good long weekend, everyone. Back Tuesday.

P.S. No, I am not receiving any money from any Costa Rican tourism agency for the above message.

P.P.S. If, on the other hand, you read this and work for a Costa Rican tourism agency and would like to send me money, I won’t object. After all, I have some stolen stuff to replace.

Saturday night, walking back to our hotel in San Jose after a couple of hours of souvenir shopping, my friend and I were grabbed by three guys who pulled a knife on me, a gun on her, and stole our bags. It was the sort of random, petty crime that happens to people every day, and can happen anywhere and at any time.

Somehow, though, I never really thought it could happen to me.

Oh, sure, I knew it could happen to me. I spend time running through safety precautions every time I travel, but I tell myself that it’s not good to be too paranoid either because these kinds of things are random and you could just as easily get hit by a bus or something. (In Costa Rica, that’s a very real possibility). So I took the sensible precautions. Passport in hotel safe. Wallet attached to bag with a chain. Money belt locked in the safe, or worn under the clothes. Don’t walk alone after dark. Be aware of surroundings and belongings. All the things you’re supposed to do.

None of it mattered. We were targets for being tourists, standing out without even trying because, well, it’s kind of hard to blend in. We were mugged in broad daylight, half a block from our hotel. They got away with our bags, cash, cards, cameras, souvenirs… the works. A wallet chain or a money belt wouldn’t have mattered, as the muggers patted us down and stole whatever we had. Somehow, having a knife pointed at you makes you forget all resistance and just hand things over as quickly as you can.

At least we had the presence of mind not to try anything stupid, I tell myself. At least nobody was hurt. At least it was just stuff. It could’ve been much worse, and we know that all too well. People who deal with real traumas and tragedies get through. Even while we were in Costa Rica, a hostage cris at a bank in Monteverde devolved into a shootout that claimed nine lives, shocking the country. Next to that, what happened to us was an inconvenience, a minor scare – nothing really. The “take-a-number” attitude of the police who took our report underscored that nicely. These things happen. Deal with it. File your insurance claim and thank your lucky stars you didn’t lose your passport – or your life. Shrug it off.

But as minor as this was in the grand scheme of things, trying to shrug it off is proving harder than expected.

They say to be strong. Be independent. Be courageous. Never give in. If you get off the horse, climb right back on. (Actually, the falling off the horse thing happened to one of the members of our tour group several days earlier – and she did get right back on. A bit bruised but otherwise unfazed. An example to live by, to be sure.)

So why am I looking over my shoulder everywhere I go? Why am I unable to sleep at night? Why am I scared to resume my normal daily routine? Why am I questioning habits I previously took for granted, wondering if I was simply being naive? And where is that fine line between sensible additional precautions and over-reaction? Is changing anything akin to letting them win? Is failing to change anything potentially dangerous?

And now that the illusion of safety is gone, how long will it take before I can summon the courage to get back out there and move on?

I know it’s only been a couple of days and it may take time. But the truth is, I don’t know when things will feel normal again. And that’s probably what’s scaring me most.

Good to be home.

Update: My travelogue is now online.

Normally I think of vacations as a summer thing. But after a couple of years of leaving Montreal while the weather’s nice and there are fun things to do, I decided to rethink that strategy this year, and instead depart while it’s cold and snowy to go seek out warmer pastures.

And so, I’m leaving in a few short hours to catch a flight to Costa Rica. Back in a couple of weeks. Try to behave in my absence, k?

Unfortunately, I spent most of my time there in hotel conference rooms. But I did return home this weekend to a pleasant weather surprise of our own: warm, sunny Montreal temperatures.

Yesterday was a great day to be outdoors. We went up to Tremblant and joined the crowds skiing on the thin snow coverage and taking the sun in the long lift lines. It was so warm, in fact, that we needed air conditioning in the car on the way home.

I know it’s just a ruse, and that winter will be back in full force shortly. I know that at the first temperature dip, everything that melted will freeze back over and turn Montreal’s streets and sidewalks into a skating rink. I know that the minus 25 temperatures and windchills are not over, they’ve just called a temporary truce.

But hey, my theory is to enjoy it while it lasts.

I wonder if the call centre employees at the lost luggage line will know how to fix a computer… cause the ones at the Dell tech support certainly don’t.

Everywhere I turned were political messages. The restaurants, the coffee shops… it was just inescapable. While walking down the street, the same woman asked me three times if I wanted to “help elect John Kerry”. Each time I smiled at her and said, “sorry, I’m Canadian”. By the third time I just said “still Canadian” and kept walking. She didn’t miss a beat.

Being Canadian in Washington ten days before the election is kind of like being the only sober person in a room full of drunks. By being a step or two outside the action, you can afford a sense of perspective that most people don’t have. Maybe that’s why it’s so obvious to me how bad things truly are.

The truly frightening thing to see is how people are confusing political opinion with personality. These days, you don’t just “vote” Republican or Democrat, you are a Republican or a Democrat – in a much more literal sense than ever before. People assume that if you’re on the opposing side, you’re lower than pond scum, definitely not worth speaking to or even the time of day. Everyone assumes the people they’re speaking to are on “their” side, and that their favourite pastime is to bash the other side. It frustrates them to no end when you choose not to play along.

I can’t help but wonder what will happen the day after the election. I’ve never seen people so divided. But somebody’s going to be elected, and the half of the people who didn’t vote for him will be very disappointed. Will the country be able to reunite and get over this election and move on? I wonder how long the wounds will take to heal.

A message to my American friends, if you’re reading: I realize that, despite the impact that this election may have on us as your neighbours and on the rest of the world, it’s really your election and your decision. I don’t think we have any business butting in. I realize passions are running high and you probably think that catastrophe will strike if your side loses. But please, please don’t lose sight of what’s important. Whether Bush wins, or Kerry wins, life will go on.

I’m just glad to be back home, where I can watch the rest of this boxing match from the sidelines.

During the flight, members of both groups began running wild. “I have never seen anything like this”, said a cabin crew member. “Kids from both groups were totally out of control, behaving like hooligans. They were smoking on the flight, and drinking large quantities of alcohol. Some of them bought a bottle of whiskey from the duty free, and drank the entire bottle, arriving in Israel totally pickled”.

Many of the passengers behaved inappropriately, making out on the seats. One particularly enterprising couple was caught trying to have sex in the restroom, but were interrupted before being able to fully implement their plans.

Well, I suppose it beats in-flight movies and salted peanuts.

At the Kotel

Masada

Camel ride

Firstly, a hearty MAZEL TOV to Allison on the birth of her new baby girl, Tamar! If she’s anything like her mom, we’ll be reading her byline in about 20 years or so.

Unfortunately, not all the news from Israel is that good. While I was in Israel, lots was happening there… and now that I’m home, time to catch up on it. The IJC ruled that the security fence is illegal – no surprises there. Meryl is essential reading, and Lynn has an increasingly popular view on the subject. Now that the UN General Assembly is preparing to do what it does best and issue yet another resolution against Israel, what can I really say on the subject other than it’s no worse than everyone expected. I used to wonder why Israel didn’t put more effort into winning the media war, but now I’m starting to come around to the view that none of that effort would make the slightest bit of difference. The world is determined to villainize Israel, and in the meantime the Israeli government should concentrate on defending its citizens. Especially if the fence helps prevent more incidents like this one. Whatever I could say on the subject, I know that, as usual, Imshin already said it better.

But, hey, the UN still acknowledges that Israel is the best place to live in the Mideast. Even despite all those GA resolutions.

It’s looking more and more like civil war in Gaza. But I have to agree with the Jerusalem Post commentary that this is not good news for Israel. Arafat is a murderer, a terrorist, and a corrupt leader who has inflicted most of the hurt he has caused on his own people. But he’s also incredibly attached to power, and extremely savvy at holding onto it. Speculation that he may be brought down is, I believe, no more than wishful thinking. Besides, anyone who could conceivably replace Arafat would probably only be worse. Chaos will just lead to more bloodshed, which is bad news all around.

The assassination of an Israeli judge is leading to shock and questions. Was it terrorism? Related to criminal or civil matters? Something else entirely? The police investigation will reveal more, and in the meantime, the papers are engaging in plenty of speculation.

The French seem to never tire of creating pointless headlines. Jacques Chirac has told Ariel Sharon that he is unwelcome in France, due to remarks Sharon made encouraging French Jews to make Aliyah to Israel to escape antisemitism. Way to go, Jacques, that’ll really convince people you’re committed to wiping out antisemitism, barring the Israeli Prime Minister and all. Right. To Mr. Sharon: I hear Eilat is much nicer than Paris this time of year anyway.

The violence in Iraq continues to claim more lives on a daily basis. Suicide bombings are becoming so common that they’re hardly even getting reactions anymore. Here’s a thought: maybe if the Americans built a fence…

On the home front, Paul hits the nail on the head on the CRTC decision to allow Al-Jazeera to broadcast, albeit with special restrictions. The CJC may see this as a good compromise. But I think it’s just further evidence that the CRTC needs to be dissolved. How is it okay, in a supposedly free society, for our government to decide that we’re allowed to watch Al-Jazeera but not HBO?

Canada has taken a small step away from our usual foreign policy of holding up a maple leaf and shouting “please like us”. We have chosen to express our displeasure with Iran in the Zahra Kazemi murder trial by… recalling our ambassador. Yeah, that’ll show those bastards. Burnside agrees. We should really take a few lessons from Israel on how to deal with threats from countries like Iran.

Those are some of the highlights and low points. Lots more happened, of course, but I’m through playing catch-up. Onwards and forwards.

The long flights weren’t exactly fun, especially since there seems to be some Murphy’s law of flying that says that the screeching child in the waiting lounge will inevitably end up sitting in my row. Air Canada scored another few points in the “we’re sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but we don’t give a shit about our customers” game. Can’t say I expected otherwise.

Israel itself was great, of course. I spent a week touring, visiting the beaches, the nightspots, Jerusalem and the Kotel, riding a camel in the desert, eating in a Bedouin tent, climbing Masada at sunrise, catching up on sleep at the Dead Sea, touring ancient ruins at Caesaria, eating Mickey D’s in Zichron Yaakov, dancing the hora in a wine cellar, shopping, and eating all the watermelon I could imagine. Mmmmm. Then I spent a week hanging out in Haifa, complete with clubs, pubs, shopping malls, and the beach.

I think I need a vacation to recover from my vacation.

The fluency level of my Hebrew shot up thanks to two weeks of practice. But while I watched plenty of brainless TV, I didn’t so much as read a newspaper the entire time I was in Israel. Funny how here at home, I follow the news from the Mideast obsessively… but while there, I was more cut off from the real world than I’ve been in ages. I didn’t even hear about the tragic suicide bombing in Tel Aviv until I called home and was forced to reassure worried relatives that yes, I was fine. It’s kind of a relief to see how life goes on as usual there. People ride the buses, shop in the malls, go to clubs and cafes and restaurants. Aside from bag checks at most entrances, I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. To anyone who is considering a trip to Israel but is wary because of the news headlines, I urge you to go. It’s fine. Really.

Once I get my photos back, I may post a few, if I get around to it. In the meantime, I’m playing catch-up, so bear with me if posting is slow for a while. It may be a couple of days until I get over the jetlag and finish unpacking and catching up on my life.

Back to regularly scheduled programming shortly.

Got my fix of cheesy American chains – both restaurants and stores – I have no idea why I love them so much but it’s probably just the fact that we don’t have them at home. I bet I’d be bored with the chains if we did have them here.

Also got a culture fix. The Met was awesome. So was randomly running smack into the middle of the Salute to Israel Parade on Fifth Avenue when we exited the museum after several hours of getting cultured. I knew I would be missing the March to Jerusalem here in Montreal yesterday in order to go on this trip… but I had no idea such a huge event was taking place in New York. Needless to say, when I saw the thousands of people wearing t-shirts and waving flags, the parade floats blasting Israeli music, the Israeli flags hanging from the lampposts… I caught on pretty quick.

Got my Broadway fix too. Avenue Q was the most genius thing since, well, Sesame Street itself. Words cannot describe the brilliance of this show.

What I love about New York is the contrast between areas only a few blocks away. Times Square, with all its commercialized glitz and glitter… the high style of the Upper East Side (with the awesome bakery/deli selling M&M-covered pretzels)… the green oasis of Central Park, complete with sunbathers missing only the beach… the laid-back edginess of the Village, Washington Square and the NYU area… and no, we did not go to Ground Zero, mainly because it was too far out of the way, but we did see a touching memorial set up at a Fire Station.

Weather much nicer there than apparently was here. Waits at the border long and frustrating, of course… made worse by the union strike tactics… though I wish I’d have known this. Driving otherwise uneventful. Have come to the conclusion that cheesy 80s compilation CDs make for the best driving music.

Road trips rule. Back to reality tomorrow. Oh well, there’s always next time.

Thus inconveniencing an awful lot of people. Including me, hoping my plane ticket for Israel in July will still be valid.

Hey, I never claimed I wasn’t selfish…

I headed down there over the weekend, and I managed to squeeze some city exploring in between the business I had to do. It’s been a number of years since my last visit, and I can’t get over how much the city has changed. Not just the conspicuous absence of a couple of towers. But also how much more patriotic everyone seems. And how clean the city is in general, compared to what I remember from my last time there. Still expensive though. That hasn’t changed.

At any rate, I missed a bunch of news over the weekend, and rather than play catch-up, I’ll post a few links:

Allison, Lynn, and Harry commemorate Yom HaZikaron. Barry has been all over the North Korean train crash story. David weighs in on the abortion debate. And Meryl tries to take back the F-word from the nutbags. (In case you’re wondering, the F-word in question is feminism.)

In other news, seems like the only Habs fan cheering these days is none other than Vinny Lecavalier. *Sigh*.

Visas will not be issued for the following groups of people:

• An Israeli passport holder or a passport that has an Israeli arrival/departure stamp.
• Those who don’t abide by the Saudi traditions concerning appearance and behaviors. Those under the influence of alcohol will not be permitted into the Kingdom.
• There are certain regulations for pilgrims and you should contact the consulate for more information.
• Jewish People

Oh well, there go my travel plans. Damn.

I guess I’ll just have to settle for going to Israel instead. (Countdown: 4 1/2 months – woohoo!)

Update (Friday Feb 27): Damian notes that the restrictions listed above – as well as the others regarding women – have disappeared from the Saudi tourism site since yesterday. I notice that they still appear in Google’s cache, though I wonder how long that will last too.

So to my readers, take care, enjoy, and I’ll be back soon. Do try to behave while I’m gone; I wouldn’t want to have to resort to banning anyone.

For those of you who celebrate Christmas, enjoy your presents, fruitcake, and annoying aunt with the moustache. For the rest of you, enjoy the day off.

Le’hitraot, au revoir.

It is utterly ridiculous to me how far downhill Air Canada has gone lately. I had the “joy” of dealing with them on my recent flight to Greece. On Friday, I flew three different airlines to get home from Santorini to Montreal. Lufthansa, with its comfortable seats, on-time departures, and courteous staff, made the experience hassle-free. Even Olympic Airways, flying aged planes still powererd by propeller, was efficient and easy to deal with.

Air Canada, on the other hand, has seats that are the most cramped of any airline I can think of. Cutbacks in staff mean that everyone is overworked and either unwilling or unable to help. Planes are almost never on time, and the endless series of “we’re sorry again for the delay, ladies and gentlemen” is almost comical. The flights I took were half-empty, while my Lufthansa and Olympic flights were all full. Another testament to the airline’s inefficiency. And while it took me all of seven minutes to check in at the Athens airport to come home, the lineups on the way out at the Air Canada counters at Dorval were so long that it was nearly impossible to wedge my way inside the airport.

When the airline unilaterally changed my ticket a week before departure and instructed me to be at the airport a half-hour early, I ended up standing in line for over an hour and a half to have my ticket reissued and nearly missed my flight. Why? Because with hundreds of people in line, there was only one friggin’ person at the counter. (Everyone else was, I imagine, on a coffee break.)

Aeroplan points are great in theory, but whenever you try to redeem them to get a free ticket, there aren’t any available. So everyone has zillions of points that are essentially worth nothing.

Noe the embattled carrier, on the verge of bankruptcy, just announced that it will be charging for meals on shorter or medium-length flights, eliminating complimentary food service in economy class.

Next thing we know, passengers will be expected to bring their own seats to sit on, and to power the plane ourselves by flapping our arms.

Why do many tiny countries have several national carriers, but Canada can’t even seem to support one? And the government keeps bailing it out, when maybe it’s time to just put it out of its misery. No wonder Air Canada’s bankrupt, with its lousy service and gross inefficiencies. It’s a second- or even third-rate airline, and frankly I can’t see any reason to voluntarily fly with it in the future.

Update: Tom pointed out that at least it’s not as bad as British Airways this week.

Having spent the last two weeks disconnected from TV, newspapers, internet, and anything not written in Greek (which I don’t speak), I know there’s probably a lot that’s been happening in the world, but right now I’m pretty out of it. My brain stubbornly insists I’m not really home but still having drinks in Mykonos, partying in Ios, or lying on the black-sand beach in Santorini. I expect to be caught up by Monday. In the meantime, back to my vacation.

This may be selfish, but I’m starting to get concerned about my July plane ticket. They’d better friggin’ honour it.

Update 06/01: Air Canada has reached a deal with the pilots union and it looks like they’ll keep on flying. Let’s just hope things are still running in a month.

I’m officially back from my vacation. Whistler had great powder, the Habs lost to the Canucks, and the word “service” is a contradiction in terms when it comes to the airlines. That about sums up my trip in a nutshell.

Beautiful sunny Whistler - purely to make you skiers out there very jealous!

Regular posting will resume tomorrow – I’m off to go hunt down some food.