Segacs’s World I Know

63% of respondents to a Globe and Mail online poll think that Conan O’Brien shouldn’t apologize for his Triumph skit.

Good parody is never having to say you’re sorry.

I’ve maintained for a while that Israel has been shooting itself in the foot by its inability to play the public relations game. While the PA has the international media eating out of its hand, the Israeli government has dispatched standoffish spokespeople with poor English skills, issued a host of “no comments” or “we’re investigating”, and has failed to come up with the catchy one-liner soundbytes to advertise its cause.

That appears to be changing, as Israel is at last acknowledging that sometimes it’s not enough to be right; you have to be snappy. This media strategy is sure to have an impact:

Jerusalem bus wrecked in a suicide bombing was readied Tuesday for a flight to the Netherlands as part of an Israeli public relations offensive surrounding a World Court hearing on Israel’s West Bank barrier.

Israel’s Zaka private emergency service said it was sending the charred skeleton of Bus 19, in which 11 people were killed on Jan. 29 when a Palestinian policeman blew himself up, as grim evidence of how Israel has “suffered from terror.”

The bus, taken in pieces to Ben-Gurion airport on a flatbed truck, was to be flown out Wednesday and displayed outside the World Court in The Hague during next week’s hearings on the legality of the barrier Israel is building in the West Bank.

As an advertising person, this strategy is sound. It’s sure to make a strong emotional impact. But it’s funny… I’ve been arguing for so long that Israel should swing a few punches on the public relations front, and now that they’re finally doing so, it’s leaving a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.

I can’t help but feeling that it’s wrong somehow for Israel to stoop to the level of media ploys or one-liners. I’m in no position to criticize; the cynic in me knows that perception is reality. But maybe I keep thinking that it would be nice if Israel were above these cheap strategies… that it would be nice if the world recognized right and wrong instead of catchphrases and slogans.

Still, a reality check tells me that Israel is just presenting its case in the strongest way possible, and that it’s about time.

I was flipping channels the other night, and heard a teaser promo on – I think – the CBC on a story about trans fats and the drive to legislate them out of existence that went something along the lines of “Why don’t we eat the way we should?”

Now, I’m not disputing the findings of all the experts who say that trans fats are bad for us, or are a health hazard even. But I am a little wary of attempts to ban unhealthy foods. Even if fat is “the new tobacco”, as the Heart and Stroke Association sensationally warns, well, heck, even tobacco’s legal.

Every day, we’re assaulted by shocking warnings about different kinds of food. One day, it’s watch out for the water – it’s polluted and will kill you. The next day, don’t touch that protein. The day after, protein is king (thanks Atkins) and it’s the carbs that’ll kill ya. Sugar is bad so sweeten artificially… no, artificial sweetener will cause cancer; use real sugar. It’s an eternal yoyo going by with such dizzying speed that nobody can possibly keep it all straight.

In the end, everything’ll kill you. But that’s ok cause life will kill you. Death is one of the only two certainties in life. You can eat only vegan all-natural vegetables your entire life and get hit by a car.

As long as they are eaten in moderation, most foods won’t do you grievous amounts of harm. So if I want to be bad and occasionally eat something that’s bad for me, that’s nobody’s business but my own. It’s certainly not the government’s. If these interest groups get their way, every guilty pleasure will be illegal, and all the causes of death will drop drastically… but when people realize what kind of dry existence they’re left with, suddenly the suicide rate will spiral out of control. After all, what is life if you can’t indulge in a slice of triple-chocolate mousse cake on occasion?

I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. But I have the occasional drink, I’m positively addicted to chocolate, and I don’t always eat my recommended daily intake of the four food groups every day. Even more shocking: Sometimes I read romance novels, watch cheesy movies, and I’ve even caught an episode or two of bad reality TV. And the guilty pleasure derived from doing each of those is the same as the guilty pleasure derived from eating greasy onion rings.

So to the NDP and their proposed bill outlawing trans fats, I say try being bad once in a while. Sometimes, it just feels good.

A few months ago, the blogosphere was abuzz with the Onion’s satire “Mom finds out about blog”. The ultimate embarrassing nightmare.

But this cool Mom not only knows about her 14-year-old daughter’s blog, she supports it fully… and in fact, considers her daughter better educated and informed thanks to blogging (via Imshin):

So even if she hadn’t received such an outpouring of support, I think Cecile’s regular stops in the blogosphere would have served as an antidote to what happened at school this past Friday. Certainly if a teacher implies a student is a racist idiot one day, and by the next some 200 smart and articulate adults have said she’s not and here’s why, that rather counteracts the original lesson plan. Now that so many teens have blogs, concerns about doctrinaire teachers may be passé. Our sons and our daughters are beyond their control.

I think she’s absolutely right. Kids are constantly warned about the dangers of the Internet and all the bad stuff that they can have access to. But what about the kids and teenagers who benefit from the Internet by having access to a multitude of viewpoints and perspectives on world events, political issues, and society? I happen to think that, all else being equal, the more access to information that students have, the better – at any age.

Now if only I could teach my mom how to program the VCR…

So if Don Cherry gets in trouble for making fun of Quebec, what will happen to Conan O’Brien?

“So you’re French and Canadian, yes? So you’re obnoxious and dumb,” a satirical sock puppet told one passerby in a taped segment on Mr. O’Brien’s show last night.

“You’re in North America; learn the language,” Triumph, the cigar-smoking dog, hollered at another Quebecker at the carnival.

Yep, that’s gonna spell some big trouble for “let’s pay him a million dollars to acknowledge Canada exists” Conan.

I’m more interested in another aspect of this whole thing: despite Conan’s denials, Triumph is nothing but a ripoff of Ed the Sock.

I find myself having to link to Meryl yet again, this time on her views on the proposed constitutional amendment on gay marriage:

I don’t think the Massachusetts court is an example of judicial activism. I think it’s an example of the inevitability of the rights of American citizens being granted to all Americans.

It doesn’t matter if some religions think it’s a sin. The Constitution doesn’t take religion into account when granting Americans equal protection under the law.

Read the rest.

So, on a scale of 1 to 10, just how credible is PM Paul Martin when he says he didn’t know about the Chretien corruption scandal?

The prime minister said he will leave it to the judicial inquiry he announced this week to find out which crown corporation officials were complicit in the scam cited in auditor-general Sheila Fraser’s report. But he left no doubt he intends to make those people pay.

[ . . . ]

Martin said any cabinet ministers who knew about the scandal but did not act should resign. He demanded anyone with information come forward.

Yep, and I bet he’s going to offer a reward to find the “real killer” too.

Today is Friday the 13th, and some of you superstitious people are probably out there watching out for black cats or broken mirrors.

I’m not too worried, personally. After all, everyone knows that if my horoscope says it will be a good day, then there’s nothing to fear.

That’s the prevailing theme these days among hockey fans, as we watch this season with the knowledge that next season might not happen. A lockout is looking likely, cause the players and the owners can’t seem to even sit down at the table together to talk, let alone come to an agreement.

The key issue is the players’ union’s absolute refusal to tolerate even mention of the words “salary cap”, and the owners’ insistence that some sort of salary regulation is necessary, as the situation is getting out of control. A strategically-timed report released today suggests that 76% of revenues were used to pay player salaries last season, and that most of the teams lost money – a total loss of $273 million.

If the owners lock out the players, they’ll be the bad guys. And the players really do hold most of the cards here, because they can play elsewhere – Europe for example – while the owners spin their heels. But that doesn’t make the Players’ Association right.

A salary cap won’t put any players in the poorhouse. Far from it. All it will do is keep salaries at a semi-reasonable level for those superstars that are making obscene amounts of dough. Talent is talent, but the game would be much more exciting if the small-market teams could afford to sign the top talent as well. (Mind you, recruiting big-name stars at high salaries hasn’t exactly paid off for the Rangers…) But paying what the market will bear is one thing. Engaging in bidding wars that end up awarding guys like Jaromir Jagr $11 million a year. $11 million??? What can you buy with 11 that you can’t buy with 10? A salary cap would allow all teams to have a fair shot at obtaining top talent, making the league more competitive and the seasons more exciting.

Sure, maybe this report was released a bit too conveniently to sway public opinion. But frankly, I think the players are going to have to face facts sooner or later. I hope they come to their senses before a lockout costs us fans the 2004-05 season.

In the meantime… Go Habs Go!