“Instigate, don’t retaliate”

07.20.06

Hockey fans will recognize the above statement as good advice for players looking to avoid the penalty box, since refs are more likely to penalize a retaliation than an initial provocation. (At least, this was true in the old NHL; things have changed a bit now.)

I can’t help but wonder if there are hockey fans running Hezbollah. Because this has so far been a foolproof strategy for them: Instigate a conflict by kidnapping some soldiers and launching some rockets, and watch the world penalize Israel for its retaliation. Two minutes for bombing.

Maybe it’s time to give the Israeli army some hockey coaching. What could we tell them that would help? “Keep your head up”? “Communicate with your teammates”? Actually, the best hockey-esque advice I think Israel can hear right now is to avoid pissing off the refs any more than necessary, even if they are about as biased as they get. Hezbollah’s never going to play by the rules, but Israel needs to remember that it is bound by them. By all means, play some solid defence, but don’t get dragged into playing Hezbollah’s game.

Any hockey coaches out there who want to elaborate?

(Here’s a thought: Maybe we could settle this whole conflict in a hockey match! Israel against Hezbollah. Or, even, Israel against Hamas. With all the Russian immigration in the past number of years to Israel, we’re pretty much assured victory).

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 John Palubiski 07.20.06 at 11:49 PM

No coaching tips, Sari.

Don’t want to appear picky, but doesn’t “ascertain” mean to grasp or to realise something, rather than “certainty”?

I could be wrong, though.

Reply

2 segacs 07.21.06 at 1:06 AM

Thanks, John. Want to come work for me full time as my editor to catch future slips? I should warn you, I can’t pay much. Would you take your salary in stock options?

Reply

3 John Palubiski 07.21.06 at 3:29 PM

Such a generous offer! I’m flattered!

But would I be entittled to maternity leave?

For a male, “maternity leave” means, of course, the occasional chance to sit at home and cultivate a beer-gut while awaiting the birth of “Molson”!

Reply

4 DaninVan 07.23.06 at 7:34 AM

Occasional?!!!

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